MyHumor.org - Random Thoughts and Ponderings (possibly humorous, probably not)

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Lisa, a worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer whose trip was a complete fiasco from start to finish. John reminded her of a similar situation a year earlier and dug out the letter he'd written then.

"All you have to do," John told her, "Is change the details, the date, and the name."

She looked it over and smiled wryly. "We won't even need to change the name."

Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a color monitor.

The photographer started describing the merits of each photo, but as he went through the set, he spoke so quickly that I couldn't get a word in as he pressed home his sales pitch.

Finally, after we'd seen all 20 poses, he asked me which ones I was most interested in.

"None," I replied. "This isn't my child."

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There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. Since it was quite hot and he was thirsty, he decided to stop.

Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass.

Well, he thought that it was a very small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all he could drink, he decided to get some anyway.

He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up."

The kid replied, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."

To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime."

"It is," the little boy replies, "that's all you can drink for a dime."

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A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck. "This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.

"I know," the employer said. "But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained."

"Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake," the worker answered, "but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."

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A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.

As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?"

To which he replied, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."

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A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and, as he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel.

This went on for more than five years. The two of them never spoke.

One day as the man passed the old lady's pretzel stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him, "Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has increased to 35 cents."

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It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.

As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

Apologizing, the clerk turned to the customer and said, "I'm sorry, but they just don't make these bags like they used to."

"You're right," replied the customer. "That was supposed to happen in my driveway!"

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I spent more than two hours in the beauty shop getting my hair permed, cut and styled. Relieved to be done, I went up to the receptionist to pay.

"Good afternoon!" she said cheerfully. "And who's your appointment with today?"