Entertainment June Promotion FREE 2007 Book!! Discounts on dining, hotels, and fun!

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.

"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then press the trigger to release the foam."

Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"

In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin... ...and hurled the extinguisher into the blaze.

Auto Parts Warehouse: Get as much as 75% OFF plus FREE Shipping on all orders of $50 or more

An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners."

Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a "clunk."

He then made a left turn and again heard a "clunk."

Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem.

Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed bowling ball from trunk".

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.

The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.

"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

Job.com - Post your resume FREE! Search 1000's of Jobs FREE!

A man walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application.

The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every job."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he points at the application. "At least I'm not a quitter."

If you have diabetes, you may be entitled to a FREE blood glucose meter

After her son fell into the pond yet again and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated mother sent him to his room and washed and dried his clothes.

A little later, she heard a commotion in the back yard and called out "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?"

There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter."

Job Joke

Sirius Satellite Radio - Over 120 Channels - 100% Commerical-Free Music Channels

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bullheaded.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being cooperative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Job Joke

Netflix - Only $9.99 a month. Over 65,000 Titles. No Late Fees. Try it for Free!

A man was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much.

One day, a saleswoman, promoting a certain brand of cosmetics, knocked on his door and asked to see his wife. The man told her that his wife wasn't home.

"Well," replied the saleswoman, "would you mind if I wait for her?"

The man directed her to the front room and left her there for more than three hours.

The saleswoman was wondering how much longer it would be, so she called out to the man and asked, "So... Where is your wife?"

"She went to the cemetery," he replied.

"And when is she returning?"

"I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."

Job Joke

A woman down on her luck is walking through a well-to-do neighborhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house.

She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door. He asks the lady what he can do for her.

The lady tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted.

He asks the woman if she paints.

The woman says, "Sure, I'll do anything."

The man replies, "Well, I have been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?"

Responding quickly she says, "I don't know... ...say $50."

"Sounds good," he says. "Go ahead and get started."

He closes the door and walks back inside. His wife asks him who was at the door, and he explains about the woman and tells his wife that the woman agreed to paint the porch for $50.

"$50?" asks the wife, "but that porch goes around the full length of our house. It will take at least a day. You really should pay her more."

"But that's all she said she wanted," he responds.

30 minutes later, they hear a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the woman is there and she tells him that she's done.

With a surprised look on his face he says, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch?"

She looks at him and says, "Yes, and by the way it's not a Porsche it's a Ferrari."