• If I like it, it's mine.
• If it's in my hand, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it's mine.
• If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
• If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
• If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
• If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
• If I think it's mine, it's mine.
• If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine.
• If it's broken, it's yours.

You Might Be Addicted To Coffee If...

• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
• You sleep with your eyes open.
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
• The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
• You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
• You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
• You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
• People get dizzy just watching you.
• Instant coffee takes too long.
• You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
• You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
• Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
• You help your dog chase its tail.
• You ski uphill.
• You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
• You answer the door before people knock.
• You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse